This is a life lesson, from one of my most favourite books – The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker
“It is similar to one brother asking another, “Why did you grow up to be a drunk?” The answer is “Because Dad was a drunk.” The second brother then asks, “Why didn’t you grow up to be a drunk?” The answer is “Because Dad was a drunk.” Some more complete answers are found in Robert Ressler’s classic book Whoever Fights Monsters. He speaks of the tremendous importance of the early puberty period for boys. Before then, the anger of these boys might have been submerged and without focus, perhaps turned inward in the form of depression, perhaps (as in most cases) just denied, to emerge later. But during puberty, this anger collides with another powerful force, one of the most powerful in nature: sexuality. Even at this point, say Ressler and others, these potential hosts of monsters can be turned around through the (often unintentional) intervention of people who show kindness, support, or even just interest. I can say from experience that it doesn’t take much.”
― Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence
This is the number one reason why most people decide to practice martial arts, many styles are a great way to learn how to defend yourself. Martial arts teach you the techniques to defend yourself, but also the way to think about defending yourself – anticipate and avoid potential dangers. Training also helps build up the reflexes you need if you’re ever in a dangerous situation, and give you the confidence to stand up for yourself and fight back if needed.
As children become more proficient in their selected style of martial arts, their confidence gets boosted big time. They become more self-assured and confident. Their Teacher’s or Coache’s encouragement goes a long way to help them achieve this goal, but the confidence level will extend far beyond the Martial Arts Studio.
Martial Arts training is a physical expression of ‘practice makes perfect’. As Bruce Lee who is considered by many as the Master of Martial Arts, said: I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.
In a class a student may execute a single movement or series of related movements, hundreds of times. This teaches the student that the progress that always happens during small improvements in technique and stamina, flexibility or power – will come through endless repetition.
4. Gender Equality
I am sure that while many parents would consider martial arts for their sons, not nearly as many would consider it for their daughters. However the martial arts are one of the few sports where both boys and girls can play together.
Martial Artist also gives brothers and sisters an opportunity to practice together and learn from one another as well (not to mention the convenience of having all of your kids in one place at a time).
5. Weight Control
Childhood obesity is a global epidemic and rising trends in overweight and obesity are apparent.
The typical martial arts class will often be comprised of warm-up calisthenics, teaching and practicing of moves and possibly some sparring, as well as some active games. The warm up and practice comprise the bulk of the time, and for that time your child will be constantly on the go – stretching, crunches, takedowns, grappling, punches and kicks. The workout each child gets will not only assist in the natural development of his or her muscles but also help them build stronger Cardio-Vascular systems.
We thought we’d have one big, fairly expensive, touristy splurge evening in the desert, with camels, dune bashing, sand surfing, grill buffet, belly dancing, fire spitting, the full desert-camp extravaganza. It cost us a fair bit, around $300, for 5 of us so it was totally worth it.
Are 4×4 Desert Safaris for Children ?
My 6 year old gets car sick occasionally, but i still decided to go for the dune bashing. I can say the kids did enjoy it. I read that children struggle to see out of the back windows of the vehicles, but they had a full view. Elias was sitting on my lap and had the best time of his life =) We stopped to take pictures in the Desert and it was amazing. We saw snake trails and tiny watermelons… Quad bikes are also available.
Camel Riding at Sunset in the Desert with Kids
Camel – the ship of the desert. We wanted camels. Not on the beach ( you can do that in Dubai too), we wanted camel riding in the actual desert. The children were blown away by riding into the sunset on top of a camel.
What Was Included in the Dubai Desert Safari?
Pick up from our hotel. We had another family from our hotel with us.
Dune bashing, camel ride, grill and soft drinks, show (fire spitting, belly dance), Henna tattoos, pictures in a traditional Arabic dress holding a Falk…
Our Verdict on the Dubai Camel Safari:
We loved it, specially the camels and the dunes. Dinner was great, lots of choice and plenty of food. The dancing wasn’t the highlight, I wouldn’t mind skipping it =)
How to Book a Dubai Desert Safari with Camel Ride?
we booked it trough the tripadvisor website. Which was simple and straight forward.
I won’t sugar coat it, day camping is not always easy, specially when you’re accompanied by three children and its freezing cold outside. But at the same time it helps us all feel more relaxed while our body and mind can take a break from the hectic everyday schedule and readjust to the calm rhythm of nature: hiking in the woods makes time feel like its standing still and the best part for the kids is probably spotting animals (never gets borings to see their reaction!), embracing nature fully while hiking, and cooking simple things on a wood fire!
The is something natural almost instinctive that I experience every time we light up a wood fire as the sun is nearing sunset. We spend hours just gazing the vibrant fire, exuding such heat that can be felt on the face and warms up our my hands. Whatever thoughts was burdening your day don’t exist at that moment, all you can focus on is the moment. Pure joy, it warms your heart, literally!
I have wanted to make some proper American S’mores every since my kids watched it on Barneys & Friends. They were curios when they saw scouts make s’mores over an open fire. I promised them that we would have a go one day. The day has finally come.
I know that this recipe doesn’t require instructions, its pretty straight forwards. My reason for sharing our experience is to motivate you guys to do more outdoor activities. I hope our s’mores will tempt some of you guys to try it out with your families, or even alone.
Graham crackers, broken into squares
Hershey’s plain milk chocolate bars
Long metal skewers (for roasting the marshmallows)
Bonfire, campfire, fire pit*
Take one large graham cracker and break it in half (one for the top, one for the bottom cracker).
Cover one of chocolate cracker halves with chocolate pieces to fit the graham cracker.
Put a marshmallow (or two) on the stick and hold it over the fire until roasted and slightly golden brown.
Take the toasted (still on the stick), and lay it on the side of the graham cracker with the chocolate.
Take the other half of the graham cracker and cover the hot marshmallow, pressing down firmly enough to pull out the stick.
When the S’mores is fully assembled, wrap it in between two large sheets of foil placed on the corner of the campfire to keep warm, while making the remaining ones (it will also help the chocolate to melt a little bit more). Eat it warm while holding it like a sandwich.
After birth, many mothers experience roller coaster rides of emotions. When the hormones go crazy again, it’s important to keep calm. It takes time for the hormones to settle again. Even well-intentioned pep-talk can cross over. Respond to outbreaks calmly and understanding & give your wife some time for herself.
2. Daddy does it differently!
Fathers treat their children differently than mothers. And that’s just as well! Babies love and need that difference. Listen to your heart and stomach and combine this natural intuition with helpful tips. How to find your own way. Treat yourself to pure daddy days. Only you and your baby. This makes the bond even stronger and you get to know your baby from a completely new side!
3. VIP diaper session
Just sneak off to work in the morning? That would be too bad! Take your child on the arm and enjoy the time together. Wrap up your baby, chat with him a bit and then put him to bed to mom. So your partner can wake up gently and you can spend valuable time with your baby.
4. The work has to stay outside
It may be difficult after a hard day at work to take on all the fatherly duties. Try to keep the stress in the office and turn it off on the way home. Walk a short distance and buy dinner on the way so you do not have to cook at home. So you have more time than family.
5. Men’s evenings with your baby
Do you miss your male friendships? In order not to completely disappear from the scene, grab your baby and walk to a friend. A soothing coffee or sports treacle can not hurt men too. Absolutely think of the vial and the diapers. Fill the milk powder already in the bottle and take the warm water in the Thermo bottle. If the baby is breast-fed, you can easily transport a puff with breast milk in an insulated bag. So it works on the way with the food.
6. Theme changes are good
After the birth, everything revolves around the new family member. This is a good thing. Nevertheless, make sure that even non-baby talks take place. Your partner is not only the mother of your child, but also a woman. Invite friends without children, then automatically other topics of conversation arise.
As a new dad, you’re worried about so many things it’s hard to even keep track. You haven’t changed a diaper before, or you need to get the nursery done, or you aren’t sure what stuff you need. Don’t forget that even with all that craziness going on, there’s a little baby at the heart of it all. Someone who is trusting you completely to take care of him or her, who is going to love you so much and you’ll love them back so much it’ll blow your mind.
1. Buying too much stuff If it’s made of plastic or includes an iPhone dock, it’s probably a waste of money.
2. Comparing your child to other people’s children All children are monsters sometimes and angels at other times. Your pals’ kids will be angels when your child is kicking off, and viceversa
3. Staying up too late Babies know when you’ve done this and deliberately wake up extra early the next morning.
4. Listening to bad advice Lots of people will offer you parenting tips. Most of those tips will be wrong, including – make that especially – the ones from your own parents. It’s a miracle you made it this far.
5. Forgetting to check your clothes for sick, or worse You’re travelling. It’s a warm day. You can’t turn back. Yes, that smell is exactly what you think it is.
6. Underestimating babies’ acceleration Babies move fast and have no sense of danger. You will learn this the hard way.
7. Expecting to become a better person now you’re a parent Turns out your parents were frightened, winging it and bullshitting their way through everything too. We’re not sure if that’s reassuring or terrifying.
8. Forgetting to apply the brakes on the pram You’ll only make this mistake once, but your partner will remind you of it for, ooh, the next twenty years.
9. Taking the crying personally To baby, you’re a fuzzy shape that can fix things. Crying means ‘something’s wrong’, not ‘I hate you’.
10. Expecting to return to normality You can’t go back to your old life, but once you’re through the early days you won’t want to.
11.Not asking for help if you need it People don’t want to interfere, so if you pretend everything’s OK when it isn’t then they won’t force help on you. If you need a hand, ask friends or family. They’ll usually come running.
12. Taking criticism badly New dads tend to hear ‘hey, you’ve put the babygro on backwards’ as “I hate you, you’re a terrible father.’ Calm down!
13. Not seeing the woods for the trees Even if it’s really tough right now, it will get better. Better than better. Amazing. Promise.
14. Leaving a nappy on too long When you hear, feel or smell that nappy filling up, a timebomb starts ticking. Procrastination can and usually does have terrible consequences.
15. Looking for wisdom on the internet Good luck with that.
I wanted to touch on something that I always struggle with when it comes to parenting and that I am now more mindful of. Our beloved phones and the impact it is having on the little ones around us. What are we teaching them through our interaction with our phones? and the amount of time we spend starring into it. Here are some of my thoughts and I hope it can be useful to any parent to find a balance and live a more mindful life.
Our children are closely attuned to our attention. They depend on that attention for their social and emotional development. If someone would film us, you would probably see it non stop – parents standing, necks bent, thumbs frantically tapping away at their iPhones or Samsungs. The attention we give our phones has a huge impact on our health & social and family relationships.
Look at me daddy
Baby’s vision development is very important and even affects their other senses. They light up when you make eye contact and talk directly to them. They are taking in the rhythm and sounds of our voices.
Sometimes I find my kids fighting for my attention & they loose against my Smartphone. Positive attention is when we respond to our kids with warmth and interest. It helps them, build a strong value system and positive self-esteem + they feel secure and valued.
Believing in themselves
When kids know that their parents think they have what it takes to handle life’s problems, they develop confidence in their ability to take on life’s challenges. Put your phone down and talk to them seriously about what they are doing, their skills will grow and their self-confidence will raise.
They want your attention
Responding with enthusiasm to their attempts to master new things will ensure, that the kids keep trying. The “look at me’s” you hear is actually asking for your approval and encouragement. When you do look, take interest, the kids feel it. They try again. They push themselves to the next level!
They miss you
The kids will miss out on having a parent on their side! We all should have the desire to be better parents. The discipline to be there for our kids. Hold ourself accountable for the moments we are not there for them. Be Responsible at all times & Communicate with them. They will thank you in the future – Sometimes you have to invest to get something back – Whats better to invest, then into your own children!?!
Here are some rules We have implemented in our house:
No phone use for the first hour after coming home
No phone use in the evening before kids bedtime
No phone use during meals
No phone use during a family movie (and try not to fall asleep while watching 🙂
Jag skrev ner en lista på saker som jag tycker är nödvändiga att ha som en nybliven pappa. Jag hoppas att det hjälper dig som som just blivit en fförälder eller väntar barn. Here’s a list I wrote on essential baby items I couldn’t live without as a father of three. I hope they are useful in navigating this new exciting life that you will embark on.
1.Bilstol En viktig pryl för din bebis som måste vara ordentligt fastsatt i en bilstol. Sätet måste vara anpassat för ditt barn och måste fungera i din bil. Inte alla bilstolar håller samma kvalité, du kanske vill överväga en som har en bas som finns kvar i bilen med ett avtagbart säte för barnet som du enkelt kan bära runt. Hitta en som funkar för din familj. 1.Car Seat This is an essential item for your baby. Anytime you are in a car, the baby needs to be securely fastened in a car seat. The seat must be appropriately sized for your baby and must work in your car. Not all car seats are created equal. You may want to consider a seat that has a base that is left in the car with a detachable seat for the baby that you can easily carry around. But no baby can safely be without a car seat if you plan to move about in a car. Find one that suits you and your family.
2.Digital\Video kamera: Nästan varje far och många mammor som jag känner vill ha en bra digitalkamera för att spela in de viktiga ögonblicken i deras barns utveckling, eller bara för att skicka bilder av det sötaste barnen någonsin. Att ha en bra digitalkamera med mycket lagringsutrymme eller plats för ett högkapacitets minneskort är en bra investering. 2.Digital/Video Camera: Just about every father and many mothers I know wants a good digital camera to record those vital moments in their baby’s development, or just to post pictures of the cutest baby ever. Having a good digital camera with a lot of storage space or room for a high capacity memory card is a great investment.
3.Skötväska: En blöj väska/ skötväska gör att man enklare får ordning på allt bebisen behöver när man är ute. Du kommer att bära på den en hel del. Därför valde jag en enkel bekväm men som inte “clashar” med min stil för mycket. Men som också har utrymme för mina grejer, en bok eller en bärbar data. 3. Diaper Bag: A good quality diaper bag with all the important contents for the baby is an absolutely essential part of the baby’s kamera stuff. It will be the one item you will be seen carrying😊 therefore I chose a simple comfortable one that I can also fit my books and a laptop in.
4.Burp cloth – bib: En annan stor överraskning som en ny pappa var hur mycket vår baby spydde upp. Jag fick bytta t-shirt konstant. En hel del leverans av burpduk kommer behövas under dom första månaderna, som du enkelt hittar hos flesta babyförsäljning affärer. Ingen idea att klä upp sig utan en till hands, det lovar jag 😉 4.Burp Cloths: Another big surprise I had as a new father was how much our baby spit up. A ready supply of burp cloth is important for dads and babies which you can purchase in most baby supply stores. Don’t even bother getting dressed up, without one at hand.
5.Barnvagn: Det är överväldigande som en nybliven pappa och det är lätt att känna sig fast hemma med den nya bebisen. Det kommer inte som någon överraskning att din rörlighet begränsas. En barnvagn med kvalitet, och med justerande handtag så du slipper böja över hela tiden, är ju ett måste. Särskilt om du är lång. Det var inte enkelt för mig att hitta en anpassad för längre människor, men den jag har får duga. 5.Stroller: It is overwhelming experince to become father for the first time and its easy for a new dad to feel trapped at home with the new bor. It comes as no surprise that your mobility is effected . A good quality stroller, with handles long enough that you can walk without bending over all the time, is an important item. Particularly if you are on the tall side of the spectrum. And getting one that will serve you and your baby as she or he grows makes the relatively large investment a little easier to digest.
6.Rash-creme – Aprikosolja: Som tre barns pappa så jag har jag säkerligen prövat många hudutslag krämer, salvor m.m. Många av dem var inte helt dåliga och gav en viss effekt mot utslaget och en aning förbättring. Men nästan alla dem jag använde innehöll många ingredienser som irriterar huden och som inte är bra på lång sikt. Jag fick av min kusin Desse Apricotolja för några år sedan och det har varit en game-changer sedan dess. Denna produkt är inte bara bra mot irriterad och rodnad utan alla typer av skärningar. Det är en helande salva som kan användas för att hydrera huden, motverka torra läppar. Varje gång jag har använt, så har det alltid gett omedelbar resultat och förbättring. Och det bästa av allt är att det är framkallat på aprikosolja och det är helt naturligt.
6.Rash cream – Apricot oil:As a father of three children, it’s safe to say I have tried many rash lotion/creams/ balm. Many of them were not bad as far as soothing the rash and improving it. But almost all of the ones I used where made with a lot of ingredients that are not safe or good in the long run. I was given by my cousing Desse Apricot oil a couple of years ago and it has been a game changers ever since. This product is not only great for diaper rash but all types of cuts. It is a healing balm that can be used to hydrate the skin, cracked lips. Every time I have used when one of my kids had a rash, it gave instant results of improvement. And the best of all it’s made of apricot oil and its all natural.