In Stockholm, it’s common to see dads with expensive strollers hanging out in the park, in tight jeans, just-right white shirts and a nice beard.
The boom of latte papas can not be attributed to a trend, the credit goes to Sweden’s generous family leave program as well as Swedish fathers adopting a hands on parenting model in which fathers get the chance bond with their babies. Each couple receives 480 days of paid parental leave for each child, which can be taken up until the child turns eight. Most of those days can be shared between the parents.
Let’s go to the definition of the word: Latte Pappa
– a humorous term for a Scandinavian father
The result? Head to any Swedish cafe during the week and you’ll come across the country’s notorious ‘latte pappas’ enjoying a coffee break, before heading to the park with their kids o strolling around town for some shopping
Coming from a more traditional part of Germany, I can say every child needs a “Latte Pappa” – during the early years of their life.
Children with involved dads generally do better in life not to mention are less likely to break the law or drop out of school.
When fathers are actively part of their children life , children do better – that’s a fact!
Next time you see a so called “Latte Pappa” just know, drinking that coffee is part of him being a great dad.
The way that kids play in nature has a lot less structure than most types of indoor play. There are infinite ways to interact with outdoor environments, from the backyard to the park to the local hiking trail or lake, and letting your child choose how he treats nature means he has the power to control his own actions.
It promotes creativity and imagination.
This unstructured style of play also allows kids to interact meaningfully with their surroundings. They can think more freely, design their own activities, and approach the world in inventive ways.
It teaches responsibility.
Living things die if mistreated or not taken care of properly, and entrusting a child to take care of the living parts of their environment means they’ll learn what happens when they forget to water a plant, or pull a flower out by its roots.
It provides different stimulation.
Nature may seem less stimulating than your son’s violent video game, but in reality, it activates more senses—you can see, hear, smell, and touch outdoor environments. As the young spend less and less of their lives in natural surroundings, their senses narrow and this reduces the richness of human experience.
It gets kids moving.
Most ways of interacting with nature involve more exercise than sitting on the couch. Your kid doesn’t have to be joining the local soccer team or riding a bike through the park—even a walk will get her blood pumping. Not only is exercise good for kids’ bodies, but it seems to make them more focused, which is especially beneficial for kids with ADHD.
It makes them think.
Nature creates a unique sense of wonder for kids that no other environment can provide. The phenomena that occur naturally in backyards and parks everyday make kids ask questions about the earth and the life that it supports.
It reduces stress and fatigue.
According to the Attention Restoration Theory, urban environments require what’s called directed attention, which forces us to ignore distractions and exhausts our brains. In natural environments, we practice an effortless type of attention known as soft fascination that creates feelings of pleasure, not fatigue.
This is a life lesson, from one of my most favourite books – The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker
“It is similar to one brother asking another, “Why did you grow up to be a drunk?” The answer is “Because Dad was a drunk.” The second brother then asks, “Why didn’t you grow up to be a drunk?” The answer is “Because Dad was a drunk.” Some more complete answers are found in Robert Ressler’s classic book Whoever Fights Monsters. He speaks of the tremendous importance of the early puberty period for boys. Before then, the anger of these boys might have been submerged and without focus, perhaps turned inward in the form of depression, perhaps (as in most cases) just denied, to emerge later. But during puberty, this anger collides with another powerful force, one of the most powerful in nature: sexuality. Even at this point, say Ressler and others, these potential hosts of monsters can be turned around through the (often unintentional) intervention of people who show kindness, support, or even just interest. I can say from experience that it doesn’t take much.”
― Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence
In the era of #metoo, it is more important that ever that we teach our kids ways in which they can speak up and stand up against bullies and harassment in all shape and forms.
if your child is unprepared and unaware of what bullying can look like, he or she might experience it and not be able to express whats happening. It doesn’t serve any child to be defenseless when it comes to bullying, and the best way to empower them is to prepare your child in advance. Have a conversation with your child on how to deal with bullying what the signs to look out for are before it happens.
When most people think of self-defense, they think of hitting back. the essence of self-defense has nothing to do using violence or striking someone. It’s about being aware of your surroundings, listening to your gut, knowing when to leave before a an issue gets out of hand and learning how to use a (confident) your voice and how to stand up for yourself. Here are five strategies children can use to defend themselves against bullies.
Trust your instinct.
Teach your kids to be aware of their surroundings. If something doesn’t feel right it’s important to be more vigilant. It is crucial that we teach our kids to listen to the inner voice and pay attention. Being aware of what’s going on around them will help them assess a situation based on the information their surroundings is giving them. Trusting their instincts will not only will help protect your child from bullying but it is also an important life skill. The earlier they can learn to be aware of it the easier it will be to trust their instincts.
A great way in preventing bullying is to build self-esteem in your child which will give them a boost in confidence. Having good posture, making eye contact and verbal assertiveness by speaking up when necessary. By contrast, if a child slouch and keep their eyes averted, it can make them appear to be an easy target. Work with your children on these techniques. And awaken the power that lies within so they don’t feel helpless.
Flight over Fight
Too often children have hard time realizing when asituation is heading in the wrong direction and when to walk away. Our job as a parents is to teach them that walking away from a bad situation is not being weak or cowardly. On the contrary, it takes courage to walk away from a situation that is escalating.
Using self-defense techniques
Although you shouldn’t encourage your child to fight, there are certain self-defense techniques they can use to protect themselves when attacked. For instance, there are techniques for blocking a punch that is thrown at them. There are also techniques for removing a bully’s fingers from their wrists as well as techniques on how to get free when being restrained. And there are techniques on how they can defend themselves from a group attack. All these strategies can be learned in a self-defense class.
Remember, when teaching your kids about self-defense skills against bullies, encourage them to diffuse the situation by using a strong voice or walking away. Also, Make sure your kids know that it is acceptable and encouraged to make a lot of noise if someone is threatening them or hurting them.
Taking a Self-defense class.
One great thing you can do is to enrol your child in a self-defense class. There are many options out there for kids of all ages, find one that suits your child and where they can have fun. Your child will not only learn how to defend themselves, but also build their confidence and teach them discipline. Most times, diffusing a verbal bullying involves knowing how to respond verbal assertiveness with confidence before it can ever evolve to physical bullying. These are the steps we can all take as parents to teach our kids how to stand up for themselves.
As a new dad, you’re worried about so many things it’s hard to even keep track. You haven’t changed a diaper before, or you need to get the nursery done, or you aren’t sure what stuff you need. Don’t forget that even with all that craziness going on, there’s a little baby at the heart of it all. Someone who is trusting you completely to take care of him or her, who is going to love you so much and you’ll love them back so much it’ll blow your mind.
1. Buying too much stuff If it’s made of plastic or includes an iPhone dock, it’s probably a waste of money.
2. Comparing your child to other people’s children All children are monsters sometimes and angels at other times. Your pals’ kids will be angels when your child is kicking off, and viceversa
3. Staying up too late Babies know when you’ve done this and deliberately wake up extra early the next morning.
4. Listening to bad advice Lots of people will offer you parenting tips. Most of those tips will be wrong, including – make that especially – the ones from your own parents. It’s a miracle you made it this far.
5. Forgetting to check your clothes for sick, or worse You’re travelling. It’s a warm day. You can’t turn back. Yes, that smell is exactly what you think it is.
6. Underestimating babies’ acceleration Babies move fast and have no sense of danger. You will learn this the hard way.
7. Expecting to become a better person now you’re a parent Turns out your parents were frightened, winging it and bullshitting their way through everything too. We’re not sure if that’s reassuring or terrifying.
8. Forgetting to apply the brakes on the pram You’ll only make this mistake once, but your partner will remind you of it for, ooh, the next twenty years.
9. Taking the crying personally To baby, you’re a fuzzy shape that can fix things. Crying means ‘something’s wrong’, not ‘I hate you’.
10. Expecting to return to normality You can’t go back to your old life, but once you’re through the early days you won’t want to.
11.Not asking for help if you need it People don’t want to interfere, so if you pretend everything’s OK when it isn’t then they won’t force help on you. If you need a hand, ask friends or family. They’ll usually come running.
12. Taking criticism badly New dads tend to hear ‘hey, you’ve put the babygro on backwards’ as “I hate you, you’re a terrible father.’ Calm down!
13. Not seeing the woods for the trees Even if it’s really tough right now, it will get better. Better than better. Amazing. Promise.
14. Leaving a nappy on too long When you hear, feel or smell that nappy filling up, a timebomb starts ticking. Procrastination can and usually does have terrible consequences.
15. Looking for wisdom on the internet Good luck with that.
I wanted to touch on something that I always struggle with when it comes to parenting and that I am now more mindful of. Our beloved phones and the impact it is having on the little ones around us. What are we teaching them through our interaction with our phones? and the amount of time we spend starring into it. Here are some of my thoughts and I hope it can be useful to any parent to find a balance and live a more mindful life.
Our children are closely attuned to our attention. They depend on that attention for their social and emotional development. If someone would film us, you would probably see it non stop – parents standing, necks bent, thumbs frantically tapping away at their iPhones or Samsungs. The attention we give our phones has a huge impact on our health & social and family relationships.
Look at me daddy
Baby’s vision development is very important and even affects their other senses. They light up when you make eye contact and talk directly to them. They are taking in the rhythm and sounds of our voices.
Sometimes I find my kids fighting for my attention & they loose against my Smartphone. Positive attention is when we respond to our kids with warmth and interest. It helps them, build a strong value system and positive self-esteem + they feel secure and valued.
Believing in themselves
When kids know that their parents think they have what it takes to handle life’s problems, they develop confidence in their ability to take on life’s challenges. Put your phone down and talk to them seriously about what they are doing, their skills will grow and their self-confidence will raise.
They want your attention
Responding with enthusiasm to their attempts to master new things will ensure, that the kids keep trying. The “look at me’s” you hear is actually asking for your approval and encouragement. When you do look, take interest, the kids feel it. They try again. They push themselves to the next level!
They miss you
The kids will miss out on having a parent on their side! We all should have the desire to be better parents. The discipline to be there for our kids. Hold ourself accountable for the moments we are not there for them. Be Responsible at all times & Communicate with them. They will thank you in the future – Sometimes you have to invest to get something back – Whats better to invest, then into your own children!?!
Here are some rules We have implemented in our house:
No phone use for the first hour after coming home
No phone use in the evening before kids bedtime
No phone use during meals
No phone use during a family movie (and try not to fall asleep while watching 🙂
As the summer nears it end, I can’t help but reflect on this summer and all the nice times I’ve had in Stockholm. I can honestly say I’ve had one of the best summer’s ever. I enjoy the simple things in life nowadays, the other day I took my kids out for some ice cream in old town (Gamla Stan) and walked around just being in the moment. Life with kids can be hectic and its nice to take time out to just be present, we often get lost in the high speed of life chasing it all, trying to be it all. Exhausting ourselves, not having enough energy left to enjoy our kids endless love and desire for our attention. Parenting is the hardest job you will ever do, and being more present is where is at😊 . 🎩 off to all the parents
Jag skrev ner en lista på saker som jag tycker är nödvändiga att ha som en nybliven pappa. Jag hoppas att det hjälper dig som som just blivit en fförälder eller väntar barn. Here’s a list I wrote on essential baby items I couldn’t live without as a father of three. I hope they are useful in navigating this new exciting life that you will embark on.
1.Bilstol En viktig pryl för din bebis som måste vara ordentligt fastsatt i en bilstol. Sätet måste vara anpassat för ditt barn och måste fungera i din bil. Inte alla bilstolar håller samma kvalité, du kanske vill överväga en som har en bas som finns kvar i bilen med ett avtagbart säte för barnet som du enkelt kan bära runt. Hitta en som funkar för din familj. 1.Car Seat This is an essential item for your baby. Anytime you are in a car, the baby needs to be securely fastened in a car seat. The seat must be appropriately sized for your baby and must work in your car. Not all car seats are created equal. You may want to consider a seat that has a base that is left in the car with a detachable seat for the baby that you can easily carry around. But no baby can safely be without a car seat if you plan to move about in a car. Find one that suits you and your family.
2.Digital\Video kamera: Nästan varje far och många mammor som jag känner vill ha en bra digitalkamera för att spela in de viktiga ögonblicken i deras barns utveckling, eller bara för att skicka bilder av det sötaste barnen någonsin. Att ha en bra digitalkamera med mycket lagringsutrymme eller plats för ett högkapacitets minneskort är en bra investering. 2.Digital/Video Camera: Just about every father and many mothers I know wants a good digital camera to record those vital moments in their baby’s development, or just to post pictures of the cutest baby ever. Having a good digital camera with a lot of storage space or room for a high capacity memory card is a great investment.
3.Skötväska: En blöj väska/ skötväska gör att man enklare får ordning på allt bebisen behöver när man är ute. Du kommer att bära på den en hel del. Därför valde jag en enkel bekväm men som inte “clashar” med min stil för mycket. Men som också har utrymme för mina grejer, en bok eller en bärbar data. 3. Diaper Bag: A good quality diaper bag with all the important contents for the baby is an absolutely essential part of the baby’s kamera stuff. It will be the one item you will be seen carrying😊 therefore I chose a simple comfortable one that I can also fit my books and a laptop in.
4.Burp cloth – bib: En annan stor överraskning som en ny pappa var hur mycket vår baby spydde upp. Jag fick bytta t-shirt konstant. En hel del leverans av burpduk kommer behövas under dom första månaderna, som du enkelt hittar hos flesta babyförsäljning affärer. Ingen idea att klä upp sig utan en till hands, det lovar jag 😉 4.Burp Cloths: Another big surprise I had as a new father was how much our baby spit up. A ready supply of burp cloth is important for dads and babies which you can purchase in most baby supply stores. Don’t even bother getting dressed up, without one at hand.
5.Barnvagn: Det är överväldigande som en nybliven pappa och det är lätt att känna sig fast hemma med den nya bebisen. Det kommer inte som någon överraskning att din rörlighet begränsas. En barnvagn med kvalitet, och med justerande handtag så du slipper böja över hela tiden, är ju ett måste. Särskilt om du är lång. Det var inte enkelt för mig att hitta en anpassad för längre människor, men den jag har får duga. 5.Stroller: It is overwhelming experince to become father for the first time and its easy for a new dad to feel trapped at home with the new bor. It comes as no surprise that your mobility is effected . A good quality stroller, with handles long enough that you can walk without bending over all the time, is an important item. Particularly if you are on the tall side of the spectrum. And getting one that will serve you and your baby as she or he grows makes the relatively large investment a little easier to digest.
6.Rash-creme – Aprikosolja: Som tre barns pappa så jag har jag säkerligen prövat många hudutslag krämer, salvor m.m. Många av dem var inte helt dåliga och gav en viss effekt mot utslaget och en aning förbättring. Men nästan alla dem jag använde innehöll många ingredienser som irriterar huden och som inte är bra på lång sikt. Jag fick av min kusin Desse Apricotolja för några år sedan och det har varit en game-changer sedan dess. Denna produkt är inte bara bra mot irriterad och rodnad utan alla typer av skärningar. Det är en helande salva som kan användas för att hydrera huden, motverka torra läppar. Varje gång jag har använt, så har det alltid gett omedelbar resultat och förbättring. Och det bästa av allt är att det är framkallat på aprikosolja och det är helt naturligt.
6.Rash cream – Apricot oil:As a father of three children, it’s safe to say I have tried many rash lotion/creams/ balm. Many of them were not bad as far as soothing the rash and improving it. But almost all of the ones I used where made with a lot of ingredients that are not safe or good in the long run. I was given by my cousing Desse Apricot oil a couple of years ago and it has been a game changers ever since. This product is not only great for diaper rash but all types of cuts. It is a healing balm that can be used to hydrate the skin, cracked lips. Every time I have used when one of my kids had a rash, it gave instant results of improvement. And the best of all it’s made of apricot oil and its all natural.
We spent the day in Akalla by (farm), this place takes you back in time. The red wooden houses bring so much character to the area. There is a playground, paddling pool, 4H farm with animals, (pony riding for kids) a café, a barbecue area, a dance floor, a mini-golf course and bicycles to rent (including children’s bicycles and trailers). There is a complete outdoor gym. There are so many activities here for everyone, most importantly it’s child friendly. I have been here before but this time we came for the pony riding. Unfortunately we came too late and ended up missing it, so we spent the day in the farm interacting with the animals. We ended the day in Bibbi house, a lebanese/moroccan restaurant. If you want to walk from Akalla by (farm) to Bibbi house , it’s possible, but a you’re in for a long walk. Ones there it is worth the walk, they have an amazing outdoor seating area and the food is great.